Carnaval

Sexta-feira, Janeiro 28, 2005

Sayuri-san!!!

Oh my goodness! Finally! After YEARS of waiting, Sayuri will finally hit the movie houses soon!

If there should be one movie that's worth anticipating for, it's Memoirs Of A Geisha. Quick, put that in your movie list! Ever read that book (by Arthur Golden)? Grabe, it's so enthralling. If you remember I have quoted lines from the novel in one of my previous post here. Wala lang. Hmm, I wonder how Mameha-san and the Chairman look like. This one is my second favorite book next to Chevalier's Girl With A Pearl Earring, and the plot of which is captivatingly beautiful as well.

Nakaka-badtrip naman that Zhang Ziyi will play Sayuri's role. Lahat nalang si Zhang, wala na bang iba? She isn't even Japanese. Ugh.

Am going to take a bath now. I have to get to DOH by 11:30a to get some information. Ciao, bella.

Carnaval took a nap at 7:44:00 AM

|
----------------------------------------------------------------

Quarta-feira, Janeiro 26, 2005

Farther Still?

I hate this January. I've been taking long quizzes and midterm exams since second day and I couldn't believe I'm still not through with this onslaught. May long exam pa ako sa Health Economics, which is the most dreadful subject I have taken (in fairness, ang ganda ng teacher ko rito), a midterm exam in Rhetoric (which I think would turn out so sisiw for me, haha) and an oral revalida in Pathophysiology. Ugh. Boy, is this month so appalling. My brain tells me to stop and give myself a break and I'm pretty glad that at least I get to do what it says tonight. I am bereft of the things I love to do since all my subjects demand that I review for exams although it's good to realize that I'm learning so much. I'm happy now because I could write again in this lovely thing they call 'blog'. Some weeks ago I've read that this one is among last year's list of most banished words. One commented that 'blog' sounds like something that would be stuck in his toilet. Haha. Ang masasabi ko naman, para 'tong duming nahayaang lumaki at maiwan nang matagal sa puwit kapag ang tao ay may paninibi (constipation). Ewan.

Anyway, my group mates were done with our duty in OM Delivery Room last week. The memories we made in there have been haunting us so now we're starting to wish we could go back and catch as many babies as possible. How I miss the babies, the mothers in agony, the CI's, the clerks/interns, doctors, and the staff we have worked with, and the long-lasting aroma of lochia (this one I could never forget!).

In spite of this month's academic onslaught that bombards me like a tsunami, I am celebrating my full recuperation from the Starex accident I had on January 23 last year. I remember that time was the lowest point in my life because I felt helpless and idle and my habits then were limited. But that has come to an end and I have recovered very well anyway so there really is no point in retelling this story in full detail. And yeah, I can now confirm that history does repeat itself, even the feline milieu isn't exempted from this occurrence. My adopted kitten, Paris, just got her right foot run over by our car this morning. She now has this huge hematoma in her foot, which I know hurts like hell because I've been through that ordeal. Kawawa naman kami.

Okay, good-by for now. I still got many things to do in the house like sleep and play with my pets. I don't really care about tomorrow. Anticipating just complicates things more.

Carnaval took a nap at 10:14:00 PM

|
----------------------------------------------------------------

Quinta-feira, Janeiro 20, 2005

That's Life

So today's 10a-2p duty at OM Delivery Room already came and went and all we operated on that time was one pregnant patient. What was even worse for me and the rest of my group mates who are literally dying to catch newborns right from mothers' uteruses was that the baby inside the only patient we had had no life. Intrauterine fetal demise (IUFD) is the term that medical practitioners use for this case and it devastated all of us since this was the first time we ever witnessed such scenario. The delivery had been a grueling obstacle for the 20-year old mother, Miss Y, because the fetus inside her was in a horizontal position, which is a dangerous position and happens infrequently because the normal fetal position is vertical and it is usually the baby's head that goes out first. She was having a hard time pushing. She became so tired and almost wanted to give up because she just can't get her baby out. The doctor and everybody else were getting really frustrated, close to getting acerbic toward the patient. But my nosy group mates standing close to see the procedure cheered and encouraged the young woman to push harder. Even the head nurse who stood beside her told her, "Kung puede sanang ako nalang ang umire para sayo, kanina ko pa sana ginawa 'yun..."

Oh yes, the genius of Filipinos. Funny how superb we are in alleviating our tensions by making fun of them.

The baby had finally been extracted for what seemed like hours and my classmate caught it. It was a boy. But a small, stiff, and gray one. There was no need for suctioning devices. My classmate who caught the baby laid him on a clean working table and wiped the blood and other substances off him while I continued filling out the neonate form for the hospital record.

We were pretty silent after the operation. Before bringing him to the morgue, the baby, whose name would have been Ronrie, was wrapped in a clean sheet of bluish cloth, secured with an adult diaper. (What were they thinking?) It's probably because of cost cutting. Maybe government hospitals are too poor to buy clips.

At the meeting right after everything had been cleaned up in the labor room, our clinical instructor told us what just happened and tried to console us. She felt sorry for the mother and for us for having to grieve over the tragedy. I wonder if the situation had made me downright depressed, what more would it have been for the mother?

"That's life," according to my clinical instructor. At that time I didn't know exactly what she was referring to.

Carnaval took a nap at 9:01:00 PM

|
----------------------------------------------------------------

Domingo, Janeiro 16, 2005

Fully!*

So the first two arduous weeks of the New Year came and went. I finally took all of my major subjects' long exams and you need not ask me how it all went. This is what I hate about January classes -- everybody crams. Even several teachers love to slack off during the first few weeks before midterm classes and then speed up everything else just one week before midterm exams. It sucks really when you have to study for three major long tests due the next day or the following week. I am no robot. It means studying brings me fatigue and that my brain processes so slowly it would take me forever to finish reviewing for one science test.

Olympus Camedia: C-450 ZOOM

On more exciting matters, I had the opportunity to catch a newborn at the delivery room of Ospital ng Maynila the day before. Although I have been observing actual deliveries prior to this one, catching the baby still wasn't an easy preparation for me if you want to know the truth. It took me a lot of energy consumption, a lot of guts just to get ready for that procedure. Minutes before the clerk handed the baby to me, I felt my legs wobbling, and my hands trembling intensively. Boy was I very afraid, kept thinking the baby would slip from my hands and die a minute after being pulled out from the mother's womb.

Well, by God's grace, it didn't happen.

The entire labor was pretty quick and the mother did very well throughout the operation. The baby was out on January 14, 2005 at 12:17p. I caught a healthy boy newborn drenched in blood, covered with vernix caseosa, the greasy cheese-like substance (yeah don't worry baby, I got you). He was so soft and so fragile. I carefully placed him in a tub where the pediatrician suctioned him and made the APGAR scoring and as she was doing this I wiped the vernix caseosa off, tied off his umbilical cord, laced him a nametag, placed his footprints on a newborn datasheet, kept him warm, and welcomed him to the world.

Afterward I presented the baby to his tired mother, Miss X, who still managed to smile faintly while she's having her episiotomy (vaginal laceration) repaired. Ah, the Kodak moment. At that instant I wondered how my mother had felt/reacted when she first saw me almost nineteen years ago (my birthday's on February). I have not asked my mother this question yet.

You see, I have always been amazed in nature and this is the best manifestation of God's greatness that I've seen yet. This is one experience I would never trade with anything. Right now I pray that this child would grow up to be a loving son to his mother (and his future father) in the same way that his parent/s would take very good care of her/their child. I also pray that he would be granted the best education our country has to offer. May he dream big dreams and live a worthy life.

*The word fully, a short term for fully dilated cervix (with diameter reaching up to 10cm), is often shouted at the hall outside the delivery room. This is a signal that the pregnant patient's cervix is fully dilated and is now ready for the second stage of labor (expulsion of the fetus). Physicians, interns, nurses, and other medical practitioners rush toward the room and attend to the operation.

Carnaval took a nap at 1:10:00 AM

|
----------------------------------------------------------------

Quinta-feira, Janeiro 13, 2005

No Doughnuts For You

Too busy yet I still managed to cadge some minutes for this precious Internet. My ATPs got all used up from 4:30a to 2:00p. I had fun though. I hope to get some pictures tomorrow so I could tell you why.

Carnaval took a nap at 5:14:00 PM

|
----------------------------------------------------------------

Domingo, Janeiro 09, 2005

Yesterday Is Gone And Tomorrow's A Day Away

I don't have classes every Saturday but yesterday I went to school to meet with my group mates to finish the FNCP. I think we did okay on the first part. We just were not sure about the second problem we solved. Anyway, that isn't really what I would like to share with you my weird readers who read my insane posts.

I was happy to meet my best buds again from my previous section. You just can't get close to the idea how glad I felt yesterday. I go to class from Monday to Wednesday while they have theirs from Thursday to Saturday. You just imagine how hard it is for us to meet during this semester. When I get lucky to have a make-up class in MCN on a Saturday, I get to have lunch with them. For this semester I think I've bumped into them for only about ten times or less. Somehow I've gotten used to not seeing them everyday now unlike the previous times before when I really felt sad because I keep remembering we're in different sections now.

Well that aside I think I'm doing fine. I got a long exam on Pathophysiology tomorrow and I'm DYING to take that test 'cause I've been reviewing for it since Christmas break!

Okay, bye.

Carnaval took a nap at 8:59:00 AM

|
----------------------------------------------------------------

Quinta-feira, Janeiro 06, 2005

I Feel Sleepy, Oh So Sleepy, It's Alarming How Sleepy I Feel

This 24-hour rest day serves as a preparation for my longest duty in some crappy place in Manila yet. I shall wake up at around four in the morning tomorrow to get ready for the 6:15a meeting with my group mates at a fast food chain in one of the scariest places on earth -- Divisoria. But I doubt if I'd ever wake up on time because I love to sleep. So in love with it am going to ask Sleep to marry me and we shall sleep happily together. I'm going to bring my so fresh and so clean scrub suit and other paraphernalia hoping I'd finally see a baby getting its way out of the mother's womb.

I momentarily gained back my naptime, which I've lost this week. My day sucks whenever I don't get enough of it because you need to do something more important than trying to reach your REM phase at night. This is one factor why some people get bad-tempered without any obvious reasons. WARNING: Surly Trish approaches, people of the nation STAND BACK! I get crabby when I'm sleepless.

School day yesterday was spent on nothing except making up a lousy FNCP (read, family nursing care plan) with my group mates. I had fun inventing family situations and problems with them, though. We are a bunch of very scrupulous students, each assuming the role of a devil's advocate just to point out whatever crucial points we've missed that's needed for the FNCP.

We were supposed to have our Rhetoric class afterward but my instructor did not show up, thank goodness. This is the subject that I'm supposed to love because it's the sole subject inserted to my second semester schedule that's not related to my course. Unfortunately I can't seem to like it. It bores me because my teacher lets me and my classmates properly pronounce different words in chorus. This freaks me out because I thought I had time traveled back to my kindergarten class in a private Catholic school where a penguin-costumed lady we call a nun asks her students to pronounce the simplest words written on the board while she points at them with her stick as long as a cue. Twelve years passes and now I'm back to this kind of scenario again. I felt absolute boredom instead of excitement for recognizing how similar your pre-school days were with Rhetoric class. Pronouncing a million various words in chorus bores me ad nauseam. It's insulting me at the same time. I want to move to the discourse proper where you get to speak in front of the class and the teacher flunks you for articulating so badly. I have problems when speaking English. I stutter but not so much but I think the listeners could notice them anyway. And I hate feeling my stomach churn when I'm in front of a crowd. Plus my head processes so slowly that I can't express my thoughts out right away. I'm such a loser at these things. I would rather develop my writing skills. That is, if I indeed have something of that sort.

Carnaval took a nap at 6:40:00 PM

|
----------------------------------------------------------------

Terça-feira, Janeiro 04, 2005

The First Trial

Today was frigging hot and humid. By the time I had managed to get out of my MCN class this twilight I looked up the sky and its clouds were damn low and ominous it was a good thing that my sturdy umbrella is always kept in my dirty knapsack. But for some unexplained reasons, I got it out of my bag too late. So the rain came and went and left me and my friends soaked with little rainfall while on our way to the terminal and that made us feel really sticky under our clothes. I think I was being punished for dozing off (with the others) while a classmate reports about the four P's of Labor that afternoon. The action was justifiable, though. Believe me, I have my own reasons for that. And in case you want to know what the four P's of Labor are, don't ask me.

I never thought this academic onslaught would tire me so much. The preparations for formidable long exams in my major subjects this week had been very difficult for me. I studied Patho while I was in Vigan, Abra, and Baguio and when I got to Paranaque a few days ago, I wasn't even halfway through with my review so I crammed... again. Some things never ever change. And in my case, I guess I shall forever be a superb procrastinator.

I don't really make resolutions every New Year because they almost always end up getting neglected eventually. But since my transpersonal self-concept tells me that I believe I can make my ideals become realistic this time, I decided to create one. So my sole resolution for this year is to cut back on food and use the dreadful thing I call a treadmill in the house at least once a day. This will be my HARDEST task yet, I know. I would rather play badminton than use the treadmill but there seemed to be a scarcity of badminton partners who want to play with me so I'm going to give it a try.

Carnaval took a nap at 9:27:00 PM

|
----------------------------------------------------------------

Domingo, Janeiro 02, 2005

Next Stop, 2005

I'd like to think that 2004 is just a number so that 2005 won't make any difference to me.

I do not deny that 2004 has been a great year for me as the previous years have. I am blessed with a family that sees one another through. Many parents have failed keeping a family and I'm glad that my parents are working their relationship with us very well. I have enjoyed being with my best friends from high school who update each other over badminton games, food trips, and road trips. I am thankful for my college friends who keep me company during reviews and break and gimik time. Haha.

Things just happened so fast. It wasn't long ago when a black Starex crushed my left foot outside Merville. Not long ago when I took home a stray kitten. Not long ago when I passed my Biochemistry subject. Not long ago when I loathed my Anatomy and Physiology instructor and put a five in her evaluation, which eventually terminated her teaching career. Oops! That was incriminating.

Things just happened so fast and it's a pity that I have no ability to undo all of my mistakes. It's pathetic that you hurt people and then you end up remorseful. Consequently you wished that it never happened but you can't do anything about it. You never took risks but then suddenly you keep saying to yourself, "That should have been me," or "If only I had done that."

The dangers of sorrow do not always bring disastrous events. You are actually given choices: you may lower your self-esteem more or you just let things unfold as they will or you get up and start to learn from your adversities. Everything's easier said than done. For the past year I think I've been letting things unfold and see where it eventually leads me. It's like being lost in a dark room. I haven't found a way out but I'm feeling my way toward it.

In Arthur Golden's Memoirs of a Geisha, one of my favorite novels, character Sayuri says, "We live our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course." Sayuri became a geisha by serendipity in the same way that most inventions are made unexpectedly.

Next stop, 2005. There is no shortage of experiences in this world. Keep discovering.

Carnaval took a nap at 7:37:00 AM

|
----------------------------------------------------------------

So...

I am back from my one-week vacation. I don't have to say everything that had happened that time except maybe for a few things. Going to very far places by car has always been so tiring it literally gives me pain in the butt. Like ischemia of the gluteus maximus. I have lost my blood supply there.

When my family went to Baguio from Ilocos Sur a couple of days ago, the three of us got ill. Ciarra went barfing more than a dozen times throughout the trip and she looked very awful. Mama had a migraine and vomited when we got to the house. Ate Nikki wanted to throw up but could not. Meanwhile I've been eating so much lately yet I haven't shat for about three days and this appalled me so much.

Photos? Maybe on my next post. It's about five in the morning. What an ungodly time to be uploading images from the camera.

I wonder how my pets did during New Year when every cheap firecracker from Bulacan is to be blown up on the streets. I remember last New Year, all throughout the tumultuous sound of explosives outside our house in Merville, our adopted dog, Chino, was tucked under the table of our living room trembling to a very sickening degree. I got amused at the idea that some animals hate celebrating the New Year with dangerous fireworks as much as I do. But I recalled that dogs are about twenty times more sensitive to sounds than humans do. So if a single Tsik-Boom or a five star explosive could startle us and put us to a transient nervous breakdown, if ever there is such thing as a transient nervous breakdown, what more could they do to dogs like Chino? I wanted the deafening noise to end to relieve Chino but could not. The best thing my siblings could do was to touch and talk to him, giving him reassurance that everything will be alright. Like that line from Shawn Mullins' Lullaby.

Carnaval took a nap at 7:33:00 AM

|
----------------------------------------------------------------